steve

"Was stupid enough to think things were gonna get better, this time I don't even know what to do.

Things seemed to be looking up and now there shit again.

Steve cooked me dinner as a cute gesture, it was the sweetest thing he has ever done for me, it was so lovely. We have had of amazing times recently like Lucas and breakfast at Dobbie's. and it was truly amazing when he surprised me by cooking me dinner

Right now I'm so angry, he is not trying to fix things, he just turned me down to meet him later to sort this out  wish he would take fucking control rather than just leave it. he is being unreasonable and childish I want us to move past it and he won't. "

This was a post that was sitting in my drafts from 2011 that I never finished or posted, i'm pretty sure we broke up not too long after this. Steve and I were arguing a lot and couldn't work things out and I was always frustrated because I felt like he wasn't trying hard enough or letting things go quickly enough, granted he did hold a grudge a lot longer than I do but I feel like i can finally see things from the other side where you don't have the energy to try or to move past things that bother you because you come to the realisation that maybe things aren't going to change?

I don't want things to end the same way where i just can't stop thinking negatively and get past the bad times, how do I make things work? Is it just our current living conditions? Cos i know this has been going on a looooong time - but then I think arguing is a normal part of a relationship - right?

I know I haven't really given Daniel a chance to prove himself and this is so soon after our big talk I'm just feeling very negative right now, and I wanted to try writing everything down this time and give things a chance to bloom rather than going crazy at the Dan man all the time. So from now on when something is upsetting me i'm going to write it down and then see how things unravel.

Like I said i'm feeling very negative at the moment so I think it would be good to let things cool off and keep my feelings to myself as I'm probably being very dramatic. There are so many things he does right too. Sometimes it's just hard for me to see them because I'm blinded by my own emotions.

"Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while, so that we can see life with a clearer view again"