Back to reality

I met up with a very good friend this evening, Paul.

He always knows how to explain to me exactly what i'm thinking and sometimes maybe how over dramatic I am. I really want to take down a lot of what I have posted in the last 24 hrs but I also want to keep it as a reminder to myself of how wrong I can be, and also how dramatic about my thoughts. 

Paul put so many things into perspective for me, and made me realise my own thoughts and understand what I was really thinking.

You always have something that is a self esteem booster for you.. for me now it's my job which is why I have let my fitness slip, I used to use that to make myself feel better, then I got my promotion and now it's what drives me. For a long time Danny didn't have anything like that until he found his keen interest in working on cars with Aaron, which I think gave himself worth and self esteem that he was exceeding at something - yes they have approached him about a promotion at his work, but to him it's work it's not as rewarding to him the same way my work is too me. Which is why he spends so much time out of the house working on cars and now will presumably spend time on his fitness. 

At first I made a little grumble about him going to the gym on our date day, but now I understand, sacrificing that hour, might make the difference between, him being in a good mood and feeling great and him being grumpy and feeling crap.

Lesson 1 learned. Danny spending time without me is 50% down to his shifts, and 20% down to trying to make himself feel better.  I need to stop being so self involved, it has nothing to do with me.

Also, something i mentioned earlier, I need to start writing down what i'm feeling and evaluating it because I have a ver bad temper which can lead to un necessary arguments and apologies. 

I don't need Danny to spend a lot of money on me, I never have. Just thought. 

I really do have everything I need, I have a home, I have a family, I have friends, a great job, an amazing boyfriend and I smile everyday.

I need to start writing about the good things :-)