Playing with fire, someone gonna get burned.

I feel so so angry and disappointed and embarrassed. I'm so angry that he's such a coward. The he's crawled back to his ex and pushed me aside a second time. Why? Why did I let it happen again.

Why am I so crazy for him that in the future if probably give him another chance. I feel myself hoping that things fuck up again and he'll come back to me. Why am I so pathetic ? Why does he have this hold on me. 

Heart sank. 

I know I can make him happy, treat him right and save his heart. He won't let me, I guess I have to move on. 

Gary, I fucking love and hate you at the same time. I also understand, even though I don't want to. 

The next chapter. 

I've been talking to another guy, Kevin who I used to work with in Game 4 years ago. I always had a crush on him back then and turns out he did too! He randomly started talking to me and we just get on like a house on fire it's unreal!

He gets me so well, I feel he could really treat me right and make me happy. He is tied up a little in other things but I feel he really wants to give things with me a try ... It's annoying cos we just click effortlessly. 

At first I felt confused cos I wanted to see where the thing with Gary was going but now that he's fucked me over I guess it's answered that question. 

I still would like to see where things would go with both ...

During a HR meeting today we got distracted and started look at my complicated love life.  Haha I've been single do two weeks and so much crazy shit has happened.  

I just want to feel again. I just. Want. Gary. I think. :(