dealing with it.

i've come to realise that it was the right decision.
as much as i miss Steve and as much as i want him back, it wouldn't work.

I know now that if he was to ask me back, it would only be on the terms that a lot of stuff changed, which isnt going to happen right now. Its for the best, i deserve to be treated properly and Steve couldn't always do that.
i miss him like crazy but its just learning to deal with it.

time will tell.
We spoke on the phone last night and it really helped me, we both feel the same, and i know during this current time, we are better off as friends. we just re assured each other we were ok and it was still the right choice, which it is. no matter how hard it is, we both weren't happy we both couldn't give each other what we needed.
there are things i get upset about when i think for example; new years. i was really, really looking forward to new years with him.

I know we both need space, and it will hurt the first time i see him. i look forward to our friendship whenever the time is right.

Maybe in the future once we have both realised what we want, the time will be right for us, maybe it wont, but if its ment to be it will.

"if you love someone let them go, if they love you they will come back to you, and if they don't they never will"

I want to be with Steve, but its just not the right time for us anymore-it as if we expired like a yoghurt, we were amazing for 9 months and then just went completely down hill.
Maybe the time will come where it will be right again, i hope it does but i can't hold onto that.

i love you Steve, forever and always.